Comedian, writer & Filmmaker

Rock Eisteddfod Cancelled – 9 February 2010

I’m here at Brighton Secondary School, the South Australian home of the Rock Eisteddfod, and it’s just been announced that it’s been CANCELLED for the first time in 30 years because it can’t find a sponsor.

Would somebody please think of the children? Who is going to teach them about healthy living, anti-smoking and how much fun it can be watching a teacher have a breakdown trying to organise 150 kids?

And what about the amazing job the Rock Eisteddfod did promoting the recycling of old junk? Ice cream containers, hundreds of meters of alfoil and John Farnham’s You’re The Voice?

Much of the blame should be aimed squarely at Napoleon Dynamite. He’s did so much damage to the idea of dancing at school that not even the cast from Glee has a chance to make it appealing again.

To any potential sponsors out there, do the right thing and give these kids a go. Some industries have been kept alive by the Rock Eisteddfod – I’m talking to you, glitter industry of Australia, and your mate, the Australian silver bodypaint council.

The Rock Eisteddfod is a right of passage for many young dancers and singers, but the greatest impact it has is on the next generation of young men. Now where will young, awkward, pimpley faced boys be able to perve on the hot girls in their class? That was what Rock Eisteddfod was all about. Don’t ask me how I know that, just know that it’s true.  I learnt everything I know about perving on chicks at the Rock Eisteddfod.  And that’s something I shouldn’t be yelling outside a school.

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